Tag Archives: opinion

The Complications of Love

I wrote this piece 15 years ago and a lot of it still rings true. Though only 19, I seemed to have a lot of opinions on love at the time. Some of it I read now and shake my head, thinking ” you know nothing, little girl” but some of it, I don’t know, I think I captured some real and honest feelings that people feel but don’t come out and say. It’s interesting to think about it regardless, and isn’t that really the point?

The Complications of Love

There are many things I have figured out about love over the past few years. Some I’d like to forget but can’t, and some I hope to never forget but probably will. Life’s funny that way. One thing I know for sure is that love is something we will never figure out completely.

I’ve learned that when two people love each other, one of the two always loves the other more.

I’ve learned that sometimes even when you love someone, there can be someone else in the picture- whether they’re from the past but still engraved in your heart, or in your present- you know- the new guy who magically appears just when  you thought you were quite happy and devoted to your one true love, or the someone else could also be a hypothetical representation of a future;  a feeling that there is something or someone better out there.

I’ve learned that you always go for the one that could do you the most harm. It’s almost twisted and self-destructive. Because wouldn’t it be safer and simpler to go with the one who you know would do anything for you and would love you unconditionally? Sure it would, but there’s no challenge in it. It’s too easy, too boring, and too normal for your taste.

I’ve learned that sometimes in a relationship, the tables turn, and you feel like your world has also turned because before, you had the upper hand, but then it changed out of nowhere, and you are the one whose jaw is left flapping, and you learned too late that what goes around, will always come around.

I’ve learned that you can think your world will stop spinning if your true love left you, that you would die without them. But in the end, you’re still here, and your world is still spinning, and you’re still breathing, and then miraculously, that one you thought you couldn’t live without becomes a memory of a past you can’t even imagine being in now. The person you thought was your whole life becomes someone you hardly think about.

I’ve learned that everyone cheats at some point, whether it’s physical or emotional. You don’t have to be intimate with someone else to make it cheating, that’s the way society may see it but it doesn’t technically have to be true. I also think it could be a way of cheating with your heart, so to speak, when you share a certain glance or when you even think about someone else as a what-if scenario.

I’ve learned that love fools many people; blinds them, hurts them, scars them, even paralyzes them with fear. I’ve learned getting hurt emotionally is a fear that everyone in this world shares and everyone in this world will get their heart broken at least once. What many people don’t realize is that a broken heart will mend in time, just like a broken arm or a leg.  Nothing stays broken forever, it can always be fixed somehow.

I’ve learned that life will go on, that love will come again, and that our worlds will always keep on spinning. Hurt or happy, you’ll always overcome the one thing you thought you never could.

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All that is not said

The Huffington Post's photo.

Sometimes the most talented of people simply can’t handle all they are given, all that they are destined for, all the greatness they were blessed with. Sometimes, they can be surrounded by many, celebrated by millions, loved by all, but the inner demons are so unbearably loud that that is the only sound that could be heard. A great man died today regardless if it was by his own doing or not, it’s still a tragedy all the same . An enormous talent and even bigger personality is no longer among us. Still, what remains is a tremendously wide scope of his various talents that will be forever cherished and treasured. If his death teaches us anything, it’s that even the ones that seem to have it all can still be suffering and going through their own private agony. Don’t assume someone has it all together just because the surface of things appear to be all rainbows and sunshine. 

A wise teacher once told me ” Remaining silent is a weapon used to defend their image” when I voiced concern that I was the only one asking questions or not understanding. She said sometimes my classmates didn’t understand either, but out of fear of looking stupid or fear of speaking up in class, they chose to remain silent and risked getting a bad grade on the assignment just so that they still appeared cool and like they had it all together. SPEAK UP. If you need help, ASK FOR IT. If you need a hand, REACH FOR IT. 

Anne Frank said ” In spite of everything, I still believe that people are really good at heart.”  I agree with Anne Frank. If you believe that too, you’d be surprised at how many people will help you if only you would reach out and ask. You’d be surprised at how many tortured souls we have lost that could have been saved had they just reached out and said the words that needed to be said. Help me. See me. Hear me. Feel me. Love me. Protect me. Save me….

  Speak up. Don’t become a victim of your inner demons and all that is not said.  

 

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Filed under Family, Life, Love, People